NOT IN PUBLIC

Steven Cesare, Ph.D.

A remorseful business owner from Kansas called me the other day to share an embarrassing experience in which she passionately disagreed with one of her co-owners, in public. Despite being sincerely penitential, contrite, and apologetic, the female business owner actually did the right thing, the wrong way, at the wrong time. Thus, it was not message that warranted feedback and forgiveness, but rather the manner in which was delivered. Overplayed passion can weaken the best of us.

Has that emotional context ever happened to anybody you know?

Yeah, right.

I guess that means I’m the only one who was ever walked in the Kansan’s moccasins.

At the beginning of a rainy work day, replete with lightning, thunder, and uncertainty of how the day would begin, all the field employees were waiting in the Shop to see if they would be deployed at some time, or whether they would be sent home due to inclement weather. Unexpectedly, the other business owner, seeing all the workers being unproductive, came out of his office and commanded a couple of them to jump start the battery of a company vehicle. The company vehicle was old, hadn’t been operated in weeks, and was not going to be used any time soon. Yet, the business owner wanted it started on this work day.

In the rain. With the lightning and thunder ever-present. While the other employees watched this uniquely strange event unfold before their eyes.

Enter the female business owner who quickly arrived at the scene, shocked by the patently unsafe actions the employees were engaged in, all the while being supervised by the other co-owner. As many (all?) of us would do, she immediately demanded the workers stop using jumper cables on an exposed battery during a rainstorm. The other owner told the workers to not listen to her, and to continue his direction.

She then raised her voice, citing the numerous potential safety issues that very likely could have ensued. Naturally, he responded with like defiance, a condescending tone, and unwavering majesty. Serve and volley. Of course, she elevated the pitch of her response as well as the target of her exhortation. Him.

“Don’t you know what you are doing? This is unsafe! You are smarter than this!”

Those words were heard by every field employee in the Shop, whose eyes then migrated uniformly to the male business owner, waiting for his retort. Offended, but undaunted, the male business owner maintained his position without intensifying the emotion of the public disagreement. Capturing herself, grasping the entire scope of the internecine spectacle, the female business humbly retreated to her office.

She called me.

Underscored solely by employee safety, the female business owner readily acknowledged that she should not have made such personal accusations to the other business owner, with unrequited shrill, in front of the entire field organization. Building upon her inappropriate emotional display, she also forthrightly regretted the unintentional damage she caused to the company culture, and repeatedly offered that she should have confronted him privately in the Shop, instead of in front of everyone.

“Yes.” She offered a heartfelt apology to the other business owner; who is still considering forgiveness.

In objective terms, she did the right thing for the right reason, the wrong way at the wrong time. Addressing anyone emotionally, let alone another executive, in public, is an unambiguous test of our personal, professional, and organizational maturity, reminding us of our role model status with the company culture.

As a teachable moment, she will do much better next time; she has a different set of moccasins on now.

By the way: How well do your moccasins fit you right now?

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