STOP YELLING!

Steven Cesare, Ph.D.

A BUSINESS OWNER FROM FLORIDA CALLED ME THE OTHER DAY TO TALK ABOUT A PERFORMANCE ISSUE HE HAD WITH ONE OF HIS EMPLOYEES. WHILE THE ISSUE WARRANTED A WRITE-UP FROM THE OWNER, IT QUICKLY BECAME OBVIOUS THAT THE MEETING BETWEEN THE OWNER AND THE EMPLOYEE LED TO THE OWNER RAISING HIS VOICE, SHOUTING, AND ULTIMATELY YELLING AT THE EMPLOYEE.

WHEN I ASKED THE BUSINESS OWNER WHY HE HAD TO RAISE HIS VOICE DURING THAT MEETING, HE STATED MATTER OF FACTLY THAT HE HAD TO DO SO TO PROVE HIS POINT TO THE EMPLOYEE. I DISAGREED WITH HIM. GUESS WHAT HE TRIED TO DO NEXT?

NO, NO, NO. HE WAS GETTING READY TO; BUT I NIPPED THAT IN THE BUD RIGHT AWAY.

THERE IS NO REASON TO YELL AT STEVE CESARE.

TO BE EVEN MORE DEFINITIVE, OTHER THAN BEING CONFRONTED WITH AN IMMEDIATE, SPONTANEOUS, AND DANGEROUS SAFETY INCIDENT, THERE IS NEVER ANY REASON TO YELL AT ANYONE AT WORK.

NEVER.

YELLING SHIFTS THE INTERPERSONAL TONE FROM RATIONAL TO EMOTIONAL. IT REPRESENTS LOSING CONTROL OVER A SITUATION, THAT AN IMMATURE PERSON OR AN INEFFECTIVE LEADER BELIEVES CAN ONLY BE RETRIEVED BY INCREASING THE VOLUME OF THE WORDS CONVEYED. IF A PARENT HAS TO COUNT TO THREE TO GET A CHILD TO DO SOMETHING, WHO HAS THE POWER? IF A LEADER HAS TO YELL AT AN EMPLOYEE TO GET THE EMPLOYEE TO DO SOMETHING, DON’T YOU THINK THE POWER DYNAMIC HAS SHIFTED? MAYBE A LITTLE.

IN WHOSE FAVOR?

BEYOND REPRESENTING LOST CONTROL, YELLING CAN BE LEGALLY INTERPRETED AS BULLYING, INTIMIDATION, AND ABUSIVE. WITH REPETITION, THAT TYPE OF BEHAVIOR WILL BECOME CHARACTERISTIC OF THE COMPANY CULTURE, WHICH CAN HAVE DIRE IMPACT ON A COMPANY’S MORALE, WORKFORCE, AND PRODUCTIVITY. THE OWNER JUST BECAME A NEGATIVE ROLE MODEL FOR ALL THE EMPLOYEES. IN TODAY’S WORK ENVIRONMENT REPLETE WITH SNOWFLAKE EMPLOYEES, CLAIMS OF MICROAGRESSIONS, AND SPEECH CODES, DON’T THINK FOR A MINUTE THAT SUCH VERBAL OUTBURSTS WON’T BECOME AN EFFICACIOUS DRIVER IN A HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT CLAIM.

THINK ABOUT IT. IF THE EMPLOYEE HAS THE DIRECT, ALBEIT SUBTLE, POWER TO INCITE A LEADER’S EMOTIONAL RESPONSE, REST ASSURED THE EMPLOYEE WILL ULTIMATELY LEVERAGE THAT POWER AGAINST THE LEADER BY INTENTIONALLY MANIPULATING THE LEADER’S OUTBURST TO THE POINT OF GETTING THE LEADER TO SAY SOMETHING DISCRIMINATORY, IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT, THAT THE OWNER WILL ULTIMATELY REGRET.

THE FLORIDA BUSINESS OWNER TOLD ME THAT HE ONLY YELLS BECAUSE HE HAS A GREAT DEAL OF PASSION FOR HIS COMPANY. THAT IS NOT PASSION; THAT IS A TANTRUM. IN OTHER WORDS, HE IS LYING, COVERING UP HIS INADEQUACY WITH PUERILE VIRTUE SIGNALING.

MAKE NO MISTAKE, EMPLOYEES LIKE OWNERS WITH PASSION. BUT THEY ALSO LIKE OWNERS WHO ARE INTELLIGENT, BALANCED, CALM, WISE, MATURE, AND APPROACHABLE.

BY THE WAY, DID YOU KNOW THAT WHEN SOMEONE WRITES AN E-MAIL, TEXT MESSAGE, OR POST, IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS, THAT MEANS THE WRITER IS YELLING AT YOU?

How does that feel to you?

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